Andelu’s Rants from Shenzhen

The phrases Stop and smell the roses, Take it easy, Don’t work too hard are all ones I have said to someone or have had someone say to me. It is nice to take it easy once in awhile, but if I had to choose I would rather be busy. Not busy with just work but busy with life. At a couple of different points in my life I spent too much time drinking and not enough time living; I have spent too much time working and not enough time with my friends or partner; I have spent too much time traveling for work and not enough time establishing any roots; I have spent too much time doing unproductive and unhealthy things. I often wondered where the days and weeks went while I was busy but busy doing much of nothing. I realized today that I hadn’t thought about my blog or our new website in weeks. Why? Because I have been busy living and enjoying life. No need to bore with details but life is good, this year awesome and we still have half a year to go!

Often when leaving a restaurant, hopping out of a taxi or walking out of shop I hear Man Zou which in English translates to Walk Slow and means much the same as  take it easy. Yet another example of no matter how different our cultures may be the are just as similar. Whatever your plans this weekend or rest of the month, remember to walk slow and stop and smell the roses because life is too short and full of too many opportunities to create memories to wonder where the time went.

I have this knack for running into people when I travel. Last week I attended a conference in Beijing and when I walked into the bathroom after deplaning I ran into a German guy who lives and works in Shenzhen. He actually works for one of my company’s competitors and at one time, we had frequent meetings as our companies were partnering together on some business but that has since fizzled. The last time I saw him was in Bali a few years ago while we were both on vacation over one of the China “Golden Week” holidays.

Anyway, we were attending the same conference in Beijing and staying at the same hotel, so we shared a taxi into the city. During the two day event we caught up and agreed to get together once we were both back home in Shenzhen. Yesterday, I met him for lunch at one of the newer western style shopping malls in downtown Shenzhen. This place is 6 stories tall, immaculate and much nicer then most shopping malls in the US. The stores are very high end and out of reach for 98% of the population in Shenzhen but the place is always full of window shoppers. It even has an indoor ice skating rink. The rails are full of spectators because it is a nice cool place to get away from the heat and high humidity outside.

Like many places in China, the mall has an English name that has nothing to do with the Chinese translation. If I were to tell a taxi driver I wanted to go to “MixC” he would give me clueless look - which they often do anyway when I speak in Chinese. But they do know where to head when I say the Chinese name, “Wan Xiang Cheng”. 

“Wan Xiang Cheng” is translated into ”10,000 Elephants City”.  I don’t even know where to begin to ask why? What were they thinking? Do the Chinese find the name funny?  Quite possibly the mall is large enough to hold 10,000 elephants but I kind of doubt it…

Last week when Pei Lin’s mom called she told him, that almost 6 weeks after our visit to his hometown, we were still the talk of the village. It is hard to believe these people have nothing else to talk about then me!!

When we were there we taught his parents and some of their neighbors how to play Uno and then left the deck we brought with us. Every afternoon after lunch the neighbors congregate at Pei Lin’s dad’s place and play mahjong. These days when they arrive they announce they want to play Uno! I am sure they have figured out a way to bet on the game and look forward to learning some new local rules on our next visit.

We picked up a couple of more decks over the weekend while in Hong Kong and will be sending them to his dad and neighbors.

The Spring Festival falls on the 1st day of the 1st lunar month, usually about a month or so later than the Gregorian calendar. It originated in the Shang Dynasty (c. 1600 BC-c. 1100 BC) from the people’s sacrifice to gods and ancestors at the end of an old year and the beginning of a new one. This is the most important holiday and part of the year for Chinese and is very similar to Christmas in the west. Since Shenzhen is a city made of immigrants from all over China, the city experiences a mass exodus starting about a week before New Year’s Day.

We joined that exodus after work on Friday, Feb 16 when we flew to Chengdu. Early Saturday morning we traveled to Pei Lin’s hometown to spend the first few days of the festival with his family. This time I didn’t experience any of the anxiousness or being nervous I felt in December when I made the trip for the first time. Just pure excitement about experiencing my first traditional spring festival in China.

Like many family gatherings in the US over our traditional holiday period between Thanksgiving and Christmas, the days were full of visiting with relatives and friends, gossiping and catching up, playing games, watching tv and just spending quality time with loved ones.

The dinner on New Year’s Eve is when all family members eat dinner together. The meal is usually more elaborate than usual. Dishes such as chicken, fish and bean curd are prominent because in Chinese, their pronunciations, respectively “ji“, “yu” and “doufu,” mean auspiciousness, abundance and richness. There were about 20 or so people for dinner at Pei Lin’s parents, some of whom I met in December and others for the first time. I understood a little of what was being discussed, but not everything as I would find out later.

Later that night, Pei Lin told me that over dinner his father, much to Pei Lin’s embarrassment and thankfully my “deafness”, explained to everyone that we were such good friends that during our last visit we slept together in a small twin bed. Before we arrived this time his parents had offered to buy a bigger bed for us so we could sleep together. But we had decided it would be a waste of money since it would only be used when we visited and that would only be a few time a year. So this time we were also sleeping very close together. Pei Lin was too shocked at his father’s sharing of our sleeping arrangements that he didn’t recall everyone’s reaction. I am just glad that I didn’t understand what was being discussed!

As midnight and the new year approached people were out on the streets setting off fireworks of all sizes and loudness and the neighbors began laying out these 10, 20, 50 and 100 foot rolls of firecrackers that stretched from their front doors out to the middle of the street. I could see what was coming but actually standing in the middle of it was as close to war as I hope I ever come. The sound was deafening and the smoke so thick you could almost touch it. This lasted for a good 15 or 20 minutes. I took some video of the firecrackers but when replayed later couldn’t see anything and could only hear the tens of thousands of firecrackers going off. It was incredible and since I am a big kid was just loving it.

There is actually a purpose in the firecrackers, it is thought the spluttering sound could help drive away evil spirits, which are meant to bid farewell to the old year and usher in the new. Apparently new year’s eve is only bidding farewell to the old because early new year’s day the fireworks started again which must have been ushering in the new. Since most big cities have banned fireworks ,the beautiful red firecracker handicrafts that are for sale in the days leading up to the new year have become a popular way to signify driving the evil spirits away.

We spent the next two days visiting with some of Pei Lin’s cousins and primary school classmates. A good part of the day was spent playing games, mostly cards. We brought the card game Uno with us and taught the neighborhood how to play; played various Chinese card games, the one where I promptly lost 5 dollars I thought it best to watch; and we modified the card game “spoons” to reflect the local culture by using chopsticks, which was a huge hit with kids of all ages.

There were so many new experiences, realizations of what certain symbols and customs mean, meeting new friends and family members and expressions of kindness that made the trip great. But my favorite memory is when Pei Lin told me that it seemed like we had gotten married because we were going everywhere as a couple to meet this friend, or that cousin, or that uncle. While being gay is not easy in any country, it is undoubtedly harder culturally in China then in the US to come out and live an openly gay life. People aren’t stupid and while we didn’t come out by saying specific words, I was accepted as a son, a brother and Pei Lin’s partner last week and it was an incredible experience.

Before we wanted to go it was time to leave. After my first visit in December, I thought 4 days in Pingtan over the Spring Festival would give me the chance to experience a real, traditional Chinese Spring Festival celebration and not be “too much” for me. Well it was too much of a good time and my only regret was I didn’t think I would be able to or comfortable enough to spend a week in a traditional setting. Not sure how or when but I would love to spend a month in Pingtan helping Pei Lin’s dad run his video rental store and experience normal daily life.

We are getting ready to head to the airport. The next 5 days will be spent at Pei Lin’s parents home in Sichuan province. Am excited about the visit as the weather is supposed to be warmer then it was in December and this will be my first Chinese New Year/Spring Festival spent in China!!

We wish you a healthy and prosperous 2007!

Xian Nian Kuai Le

Gong Xi Fa Cai

新年快乐