Last night Pei Lin commented on my blog entries of late, something along the lines that I haven’t been mentioning him in my writings. I never want Pei Lin to think I take him for granted, that he isn’t the center of my life or not to know that he has made me happier and a better man than I have ever been.
I would be lying if I said I got tired of hearing friends, family and coworkers say how happy I looked during our US trip in April and May. Pei Lin was a hit with everyone from guests, who I had never met, at my cousin’s wedding to my 86 year old Grandma. Even our Shenzhen friends can tell a difference in not only my happiness but my general outlook about life and love. One of my former coworkers even sent me two little cakes for my birthday - one for me and one for Pei Lin!! It wasn’t his birthday, so I splurged and enjoyed them both!!
So, Darling, thank you for coming into my life and helping me reclaim my self worth and confidence that once was so strong. Thank you for helping to provide me with the tools necessary to be happy and live life to its fullest.
I was never one for birthday wishes or new year’s resolutions, unless I wrote them down and made them a goal. I just looked at my blog entry from my birthday last year and this is what I wrote one year ago today. I am giving myself freedom. Freedom from worry - going to try and stop worrying about the future, worrying about love and worrying what the future holds. Freedom to be happy and enjoy life - concentrate on the positives rather then the negatives. Freedom to let go - be grateful for the memories that were created but not live in them and let go of the past. Freedom to love - my heart is fragile but there is someone who is deserving of all the love I can offer.
WOW. The last year has been incredible. Life is clicking on all its cylinders and I finally know what true love and happiness are supposed to feel like. Sure there are areas in my life that can still be improved upon, but I am an optimist! My birthday goal this year is to keep the momentum going and make a great thing even better.
Thanks my partner, my friends and my family for loving me for who I am, caring for me and for walking with me on this journey we call life.
Speaking in anything other then your native tongue is not easy, no matter how fluent someone is. After four years in China my ability to speak Chinese is still pretty poor. I can carry on a very basic conversation and my grammar is so terrible that it would make my Grandma ashamed. My difficulty with the language has had one benefit though. My patience with people speaking English as a second language is exponentially greater now then it was when I arrived. I understand how they feel and what they are going through in trying to express themselves as I live it daily.
Even though I am more patient, I still find humour in what and how people say things. Usually they just bring a slight smile to my face and I let them go uncorrected. Occasionally and depending on the person and my relationship with them I might help them with their grammar or prounciation, just as they help me with my Chinese.
Tonight while we were watching the current season’s auditons for the hugely popular American Idol tv show Pei Lin and I were laughing at one contestants miserable singing attempt, and I thought I sang bad… He looked at me and said “whose your dad?” What??? did he just say I thought and then couldn’t help but laugh out loud, even laughing now that I am thinking about it. I asked him if he meant to say “whose your daddy?”?? Which he did…
I don’t recall speaking that particular phrase to Pei Lin and he has concurred. So I am trying to figure where he picked up that great piece of English, “Whose Your Daddy?”
This is my fourth straight week in Shenzhen with no travel and it has been awesome. Everyday tasks and events that I don’t appreciate when I travel so much for work have become such a source of happiness. Pei Lin’s office is only two blocks away from mine so we go to and from work everyday together; yesterday we met for lunch just a ten minute walk away and shared a romantic moment in the middle of a packed restaurant; cooking dinner together most nights; going out with friends. Sure, those things occured when I was in town but I hadn’t taken the time to savor and enjoy those moments because we were usually rushing to cram too many things into the “downtime” when I was home.
While I have grown away from organized religion over the last decade I still believe in God and consider myself a Christian. One of my favorite passages from the bible is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 which describes what love is. Love is what makes my life grand and I feel so fortunate to have found my true love, Pei Lin.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ~
